January 12, 2015

Mars and Venus Revisited

"What do you mean it doesn't go together?"
 What a strange thing man is; and what a stranger thing woman.  
-Lord Byron

OK. So we get that men are from Mars and women are from Venus - two completely alien species trying to come together into some sort of mutually satisfactory existence. (What could possible go wrong?) 

Let me start by saying that this is NOT a male bashing post. If anything I sympathize with men. They have to try to figure out and live among women. I've been a woman all my life and I'm no closer to understanding them than I was at the onset.To say that women are complex is simplifying complexity to sub-silly.

The frustration we seem to inflict on men was summed up on a plaque that sat in my grandmothers kitchen - put there no doubt by my grandfather. It read:

"God created the earth and rested. God created man and rested. Then God created women. Since then neither God nor man has rested."

That being said - men themselves really ARE different creatures. In many ways I admire those differences - except for the ones that horrify me and scar me for life. Here are some examples. 

1.They can relax without feeling guilty. My husband can read for hours without anxiety. If I even think about sitting down with a book all I can think about is all of the other things that could, should, and would get done if I don't. If I resist the guilt and grab said book. I get antsy. I can hear the laundry reproducing and calling my name and the dust crashing loudly onto the surfaces around me.

I believe that female guilt is a left over from Eve being the first to eat the forbidden fruit. Since that time it's been passed down from mother to daughter through generations of time with no foreseeable end in sight.

2. The word or concept of "should" is powerless on them. It rolls off their backs like water off of ducks' backs. I'm SO jealous!

3. They have little to no "mess shame." If someone comes to the door and the house is a mess, they will not only answer the door, but they'll invite whoever it is in - even if your hair is sticking up and you're in your pajamas without makeup. 

4. They will eat things women wouldn't even THINK about. Case in point: My husband found  (and I use the word "found" in it's most literal sense since these things had been lost for decades,)  a can of Vienna Sausages. He popped the top and chomped them down like that was even close to OK. It wasn't until he'd finished quite a few of them that he noticed something unsavory on the bottom of the can and he still didn't freak! He just said "That's probably enough of those." He said it calmly - as though he might not actually die or something??!

5. Men don't seem to be as affected by foul smells as women. (Especially their own.) Maybe this is because they've been subjected to overexposure of toxic locker rooms for so long that all of their olfactory senses have long since been burned away. 

Most women would not go fanning their armpits and dripping sweat (I mean perspiration) in a crowded room. We prefer to retreat until we're "fresher." My sons nearly killed me with the armpit fanning in a closed mini-van after football practice and took pride in their ripeness like it was a badge of honor!

This list could go on for millennia and I'm sure has.  I shudder to think of what a man's list of women's oddities would look like. The idea that we still somehow manage to successfully inhabit the same planet and even the same living space is an amazing feat. 

There is no doubt that men and women are different, but I can't imagine a world without both. Without men, women would never understand the concept of socially acceptable since we would never have been exposed to it's opposite. Men would also suffer. Doing gross things would be meaningless without someone there to be grossed out by them.

Since somehow our spaceships both crashed onto the same orb, I suppose it behooves us to look for things to appreciate about one another. Even as I was writing my list above, I wasn't feeling unkindly toward the male population. Rather I was feeling envious. I dream of what it would be like to be so free - so totally unencumbered by the frivolous worries that often vex the female gender. How would it be to stop worrying about constant judgement from others and even self recrimination?

I believe there was a divine plan in our landing here together. It seems we have a lot to teach and learn from one another. Now if we can just keep from driving each other crazy...


  1. Replies
    1. Every day is a new adventure! I could write a post a day on the topic and never exhaust my supply of new material. :)
      Thanks for reading!