I took a wonderful hot shower today and a strange thought occurred to me. "I wonder how many more of these I have left?"
Taking a shower may not seem like a big deal. It certainly didn't to me until that moment, but in that moment I realized that many people have taken their last shower and most, at the time, probably never realized it was their last. I wonder how many didn't fully enjoy or appreciate the experience. Some may still be with us and longing to be well enough to stand on their own to experience such a simple pleasure again. Others may have left us.
Why should we need to know that something is our last anything before we stop and fully take it in?
We live day to day believing we'll always live day to day although every cemetery we pass offers irrefutable evidence to the contrary. How does this self delusion begin? Why do we allow it to continue until we find ourselves looking back on our last... (fill in the blank) with longing and regret?
The simple fact that this thought came to me today makes me believe there is a message in it for me. Something I need to carry out of the shower, past the dripping and drying off and begin today, right now, to implement in my life.
This could be my LAST blog post. I could trip over any number of things or get hit by a bus before I get back to my keyboard. How many of you would know how much you've meant to me? Would my passing this way have mattered much?
This is the first time I've noticed how it feels to press down the keys and for the first time I'm paying attention to the rhythm of the clicking of the letters and words. I wonder what else I've missed? How much have you?
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